OK, OK. I need to explain myself. I have nothing against Sarah Palin or her family. Bristol Palin might have made a mistake, but I know so many other folks (and myself) who made impulsive, wrong-headed decisions in their youth and it’s wrong to take pot-shots at a young lady in crisis.
So what? Bristol Palin is with child. The important thing is that her family is sticking together and showing their love by supporting her in this difficult time. This is how it should be. A family being so strong and accepting is a beautiful thing, an example to show the rest of the country. To the Palin Family, I wish for you nothing but blessings.
But what about the young gentleman purported to be the father of Bristol’s unborn child?
Let’s go to town!
Oh, he’s fair game…Up to a point. He’s 18, so that makes him of legal age to make, and be accountable for, any stupid decisions made. But he’s still young enough that he’s got the right to be dumb as hell if he so chooses without me being a dick about it.
He has the God-given right to declare himself a “f—in’ redneck,” if his spirit moves him so. Please, go forth and shout it from the highest mountain if you need to. And it goes without saying that the previous statement makes it only natural to proclaim that “I’ll kick ass” afterwords should anyone cross him. Young Mr. Johnston, no truer words have ever been uttered by a “f—in’ redneck.” This world is your oyster…Live it up all you can, for as long as you can. But do so quickly, because your baby’s momma’s, momma will sick the Alaska National Guard on you should you fail to arrive at the church on time for that wedding we’ve all been hearing about.
But what’s that? What did you say? “I don’t want kids?” Too bad, you got one showing up in less than 4 months. Plenty of time to make that “brave choice” and enlist. I hear you can still “kick ass” in Iraq with impunity.
But to be fair, I don’t even know this guy. Maybe he’ll grow up into a wonderful husband and father. I have no idea. I sure hope he does.
Also, cheers to Sarah Palin for not letting Levi weasel out of paying for that “fishing out of season” fine that he got last year.
This entry was inspired by this article. A piece so wonderfully written I at times had to make sure I wasn’t reading the Onion.