The Bad Guy

Love Songs

Dear readers,

After the jump you find a list of titles for (unwritten) love songs that, though I would enjoy listening to them, would guarantee to destroy any mood. Enjoy!

Sincerely, The Bad Guy

-May I wash my dick in your sink?

-I’ve got to get up early in the morning and my taxes aren’t done yet.

-I don’t have any children (that I know of).

-Genital warts are Mother Nature’s French Ticklers.

-Are you drunk enough to love me yet?

-The ballad of Ike Turner.

-You look so beautiful (when I close my eyes).

-We’re living a lie.

-Settling for you.

-Let me get you a towel.

-I have fulfilled my conjugal duties (the ballad of Eleanor Roosevelt).

-I missed you so much I fucked all your friends.

-You must have given me leprosy (because my jaw just dropped).

-Define “cheat.”

-Are you sure it’s mine?

-Can we get this over with?

-Why do you get angry every time I mention implants?

-I don’t want cock, I just want to talk. <===(Thanks, Myrtle)

-Buy yourself something nice (treat yourself).


April 24, 2007 - Posted by | love songs, music, relationships, romance


  1. My favorite – “Are you out of toliet paper?”

    Comment by Myrtle | April 24, 2007 | Reply

  2. Or, “Why would I tell you your dick is big when it isn’t?”

    Comment by thebadguy | April 24, 2007 | Reply

  3. Or “Wait a minute – let me wipe this lube off my hands.”

    Comment by Myrtle | April 25, 2007 | Reply

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