The Bad Guy

White House News Conference (4/3/07)

It was a beautiful day so the President had his news conference outside. Even Cheney was there to “enjoy the day.”

But Cheney standing off to the side like a pissed-off Colonel Tom Parker was not the only thing to report on. I now bring you:


-The reinforcements for Iraq will all be in place by June of this year. Two of the five brigades are already there, and a third just moved from Kuwait to Baghdad and will be operational “in the coming weeks.”

-Continuing the tactic of accusing the Congress of holding the troops hostage with bad legislation, Bush remarked that it has now been 57 days since he asked for emergency funds for the troops.

-Bush chastised Congress for going on Spring break without finishing their work. Coming from a man who seems to love his vacations so much he can’t be bothered by natural disasters, I find his chutzpah awe-inspiring. And as much as I want our troops out of that country, the mess we created there is ours to clean. If a regional war breaks out between the Arabs and Persians, we helped make that (and some commentators, like Bill O’Reilly, would welcome that). If the civil war in Iraq heats up more, it’s still the responsibility of the U.S. to clean up the mess. And don’t go telling me that I “blame America first.” I do not. I am only trying to remind everyone of the ONLY pre-war prediction anyone got right: “You are going to be the proud owner of 25 million people…You will own all their hopes, aspirations, and problems. You’ll own it all.” That was said by Colin Powell. That’s right, the “Pottery Barn Rule” is as relevant today as it was four years ago. And both extremes of the spectrum seem to ignore that. The pro-war side wants to throw more meat in the grinder and money down the toilet, and the anti-war side just wants us out. The sad truth is that we can not, in good conscience, afford to do either. And no, I don’t think we should have gone into Iraq. But we are there, and we have to live with that decision and clean up our mess because it’s our mess. I’m not saying I have any viable plans, but I do know that there is much strength to be found in being accountable for one’s actions. But what do I know? I work with crackheads…I’ll step down from the soapbox now.

– Bush called Bill Plante from CBS News “cute.”

– ABC News reported that Iran was now within two years of having an atomic bomb. Looks like we’ll be invading or bombing Iran any day now.

– Ken Harmon asked “Mr. President, are you aware of the current price of a gallon of gas…Can you tell us why it has gone up so sharply in the recent weeks?”

Bush: About $2.60?

Ken Harmon: I think you are a little off there.

Bush: Nationwide average.

Come on, Ken. You know as well as I do that the price of gas only matters to the man or woman pumping and paying for the gas. Since the President does neither, he does not know. Also, you did seem a bit pissed off when you asked that question. Never get pissed off on camera.

– The President takes Ken Harmon’s question as a chance to remind us that we are addicted to oil. Silly man, he should know that an addict will always BE an addict even if they have been clean for fifty years. So even when we switch to alternative fuel we’ll still be addicts…Oh, wait. I forgot Bush never went to AA meetings.

-President calls on “Dancing Man.” I’m going to guess he’s talking about David Gregory. Oh, SNAP! I was right!!! I am so good at this. Anyway the President lightened the mood by reminding everyone of Mr. Gregory’s moves (or lack thereof) at the Washington Correspondents Dinner last week. Some laughter, everyone is smiling and then Gregory has to be a buzzkill.

David Gregory: Mr. President, You say that the Democrats are undercutting our troops the way they have voted. they are obviously trying to assert more control over foreign policy. Isn’t that what the voters elected them to do in November?

Bush: I think the voters in America want Congress to support our troops who are in harms way. They want money to the troops. And they don’t want politicians in Washington telling our generals how to fight a war. It’s one thing to object to the policy, but it’s another thing when you have troops in harms way not to give them the funds they need. And, uh, no question has been a political dance going on here in Washington. You’ve followed this closely, you know what I’m talking about.

Really, I got sick of transcribing that mess. I’ll summarize. The President has an itchy veto pen and can’t wait to veto the spending bill for the troops, tropical fish, peanuts and spinach. His attitude “I am NOT amused by this bill, send me one that does!” No string, no withdrawal date. Just get him one that he “likes” and he’ll sign it.

-Brett Baier: Do you think homosexuality is immoral?

Bush: I…I…I, I, I…won’t be rendering judgement about individual orientation. I do believe that the “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy is good policy.

-The next question came from a man whose name escapes me. But he brought up the point that if the President vetoes the bill with the funding and the pork, Congress might just cut off funding completely. With that in mind, how would the President like those apples? Well, he wouldn’t. The president’s voice shrinks to an insecure stutter that speaks to “timetable…BAD!” And all the other points he made earlier in the conference.

-Ed Henry of CNN reported to the President that Robert Novak is talking shit about him. Talking about Bush being more isolated than Nixon during Watergate. How does the President feel about this?

Bush: How did he define Isolated? [Pres. Bush, asking for the definition of a word is SO 1998!]

Henry: …isolated from your own party…Especially on the Gonzales matter.

Bush: [due to time constraints the following is a brief summary of his answer] Nope, I’m not isolated.

-Ed Chen of the Los Angeles Times had a neat question.

Ed Chen: You’ve talked about the constant crisis of failure in Iraq, and you said that the enemies would follow us home. I wonder, given that, It’s seems that’s not exactly a ringing endorsement of people who are charged with the responsibility of keeping America safe.

Bush: What was that?

Ed Chen: You said that the enemies would follow us home if…

Bush: They would! Just like September, 11. They plotted, planned and attacked.

Ed Chen: But I wonder, in your mind, how does that vision play out? How do they follow us home? Because we’ve spent so much money and so much resources into making this country safer…

Bush: They, uh…I’m not going to predict to you the methodology they’ll use. You need to know they’re going to hit us again!

Then the President cataloged all immigration bills, DHS, TSA, policing, Patriot Act…all the “police state” infrastructure that has been put in place to make us “safer.” The sad thing is that Bush missed the point that we are less safe today because we (as a country) are more afraid. They will follow us home (if they follow us home) because our own government has spent more time making Americans paranoid about attacks and less time making Americans feel more empowered and connected to the process of securing themselves. It’s as if it’s not the people they are trying to protect, but instead the U.S. consumer economy and culture. So a tip of the hat to Ed Chen. Great question.


April 3, 2007 - Posted by | bill plante, brett baier, C-Span, david gregory, ed chen, ed henry, George W Bush, Iraq, News and politics, TV, vacations, white house

1 Comment »

  1. […] I mentioned this in an earlier post. […]

    Pingback by This Week On O'Reilly (yes...with video) « The Bad Guy | April 6, 2007 | Reply

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