The Bad Guy

Meth…Flavored Meth

Because all the articles on the subject have missed the point entirely, I am here to set things straight. This new “flavored meth” is not some grand conspiracy to get kids to do more drugs. It is rather an example of tweaker ingenuity.

Tweakers (for those not in the know, a tweaker is to meth what a crackhead is to crack) love to experiment with stuff. They can build you a computer, clean a peepshow to spotless perfection, write computer code non-stop for days (cheers, Google!), annoy the shit of any and everybody within ear shot, build cabinets, draw, masturbate twenty times a day, perspire, twitch, and find new and cool ways to get high.

Let’s get down to the bottom line: most meth cookers are users, too. And if they can come up with a great recipe for their own stash, they’ll sell it others. Around where I work someone came up with a crack/meth hybrid that was called “BIG MAC.” That stuff nearly killed 5 people where I work. My friends don’t even believe me about this one. I told them all about “Big Mac” and they thought I was lying. “You couldn’t combine those two drugs. That wouldn’t work!” It was a short-lived thing, and the near-deaths did little for sales. But “Big Mac” was VERY real. You want a fake drug? Maybe later I’ll tell y’all a story about a “Shermrock Shake.”

What the article did get right is that the new colors and flavors do give each batch a sort of “brand recognition.” But I seriously doubt that it was just so they could sell the stuff to kids. Granted I know that when I was a 5 year-old, I didn’t want to take regular vitamins, I wanted Flintstone vitamins. But that’s when I was 5. When you get older (and by “older” I mean the teen years) you don’t give a damn about the taste. The only prerequisite of drinking or drugging was “Will it fuck my ass up?” If the answer was “YES!!!” then you did it. But meth is a bit different. Anyone who has ever done meth will tell you that it tastes awful. First it’s the burn in your nostrils, and then there’s the dreaded drip down the back of your throat that makes you reach for Gatorade, lemonade, grapefruit juice, a coke…ANYTHING!!! Just get that taste out of there. So I’m sure that there are many adult users who welcome flavored meth, too. Hell, we even flavor WATER nowadays. WATER!!!!! Drugs with flavors almost makes sense next to flavored WATER. But people don’t do meth for the taste of it. They do meth because it gets them real high and it lasts a long time. Everything else is just tweaker engineering for no other purpose than to kill time while downloading porn.

For a bit of insight into how tweakers are watch the following clips:

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March 30, 2007 - Posted by | big mac, drugs are bad, meth, tweakers

2 Comments »

  1. That was a fascinating insight. Into exactly what, I don’t know, but still, fascinating.

    But weren’t you straight-edge back when you were a teen?

    Comment by geltsgirl | March 31, 2007 | Reply

  2. You are right, I was straight-edge as a teen. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t observe how other people got wasted.

    Comment by thebadguy | March 31, 2007 | Reply


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