The Bad Guy

A bunch of wrong answers for the “time capsule.”

A lot can happen in a year. So much so, that what I’m about to write will not even matter on 3/9/08. Yet, here I am…Writing about the the 2008 Presidential hopefuls. Yes, I know I’m leaving out quite a few candidates, but I’ll get them in future posts.

Democrats

Hillary Clinton – If you want to prove to the world that America lacks imagination, Hillary Clinton is your clear choice. In 1988 we elected George H.W. Bush, in 1992 we elected Bill Clinton, in 2000 George W. Bush…Became president. In 2008 we can finally put the lid on this tit-for-tat game for good by electing Hillary Clinton. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a strong candidate. But America deserves better than yet another legacy Presidency.

Barack Obama – This man has charisma in mass quantities to rival our strategic petroleum reserves. He has energized America by offering that precious, intangible quantity that the citizens crave: hope. But that is not enough. In order to win he needs to start offering more concrete proposals. Universal health care is a good start, but he is up against odds that require him to have more than just an arsenal of optimism.

Republicans

Mitt Romney – Sure, he’s a proven leader, but he’s too wishy-washy on the social issues that matter to the Republican base. But what personal, irrational reason do I have for not trusting him? He looks a lot like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, albeit older (to be fair, I feel the same way about the mayor of San Francisco).

Newt Gingrich – Well, at least he fessed up about cheating on his wife.

Rudy Giuliani – This is the candidate to look out for. Since conservatives are having little luck finding someone who tows the complete party line, they might have to turn to the anti-hero of the Republican party. Anti-gun, pro-choice, and pro-gay, Giuliani DOES have the ability to make the trains “run on time.” And since having Giuliani will mean the Republicans will have a shot at winning New York and New Jersey they just might choose him.

Match-ups

If things go in the direction that they are now, Obama might end up with the Democratic nomination and Rudy Giuliani will be the Republican nominee. Who would win this? I hate to say this, but Giuliani would have the edge. Rudy has a proven record of turning New York City from a peep-show infested hellhole into a Disney and Applebees infested hellhole. He was a DA who helped take down several mob bosses. He’s got serious credibility on those fronts and with the nomination, the far-right will most likely fall into line and back him. To counter, Obama will need to have an agenda as awe inspiring as Star Wars (episodes IV-VI) with arguments that can deflect any attack. Can Obama do it? I ask this because he has not been faced with too many gigantic obstacles yet. He has had the luxury of being able to stay above petty squabbles, but he will not have that if he faces Giuliani. But by the time he does have the nomination (if he gets the nomination), he’ll already be battle tested from facing Clinton in the primaries, so who knows.

And if Clinton has to face Giuliani? Get some popcorn and a soda because this will be the most petty, angry, violent campaign ever. You might also want to get some soap. Because if you thought 2000 & 2004 were horrible, this will be a campaign that will make everyone of us feel dirty for decades. It’ll be like Alien vs. Predator, no matter who wins…We lose. Think of all the dirt that is known about both Rudy Giuliani and Hillary Clinton. Do you have that picture in your mind? Good. Now imagine, if you would, that all those problems have NOTHING on what is being hidden from the public. If you want blood, you’ll get it if Rudy and Hillary have to duke it out.

I hope you have enjoyed my thoughts that will no doubt be proven wrong in the future. Join me on 3/9/08, when I will recap this entry and we can all laugh at my ignorance.

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March 9, 2007 - Posted by | Barack Obama, elections, hillary clinton, mitt romney, News and politics, newt gingrich, rudy giuliani

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