The Bad Guy

Another Conversation I Didn’t Want To Hear

I stepped outside the building where I work to get some fresh air. Standing five feet away from me, two grown men were having this conversation:

man #1: You see an egg is this big [holds his index finger and thumb up to illustrate a microscopic size]. I can see people taking out twenty or thirty at a time…

man #2: Uh-huh.

man #1: That’s nothing. They got thousands of those in there. But I can’t see how it’s possible for a man to bust twenty nuts in row.

man #2: It’s possible.

man #1: Not for me. My personal best is three nuts in a row.

man #2: I have. A long time ago.

man #1: What year was that? Because I’ve got the Guinness Books at home going back to the late 70’s. I’ll check that shit out.

man #2: It aint in that book.

man #1: Well if what you say is true, it should’a been!

man #2: Guinness don’t put those kinds of records in their books.

man #1: You lying anyways. Aint no way that one man can bust twenty nuts in a row.

man #2: Part of it is diet.

man #1: Yeah, yeah I heard about that. I heard if you eat the right foods, like a lot of eggs, you can make your “nature” stronger. Bust all KINDS of nuts.

man #2: Yes, that is true.

man #1: But twenty nuts?!

man #2: If you’re with the right person you can bust more.

man #1: How many eggs you gotta eat to bust twenty nuts you think?

man #2: At least one for every nut you want to bust, maybe 2 to be sure.

And this is where I decided that I had enjoyed enough fresh air for the evening.

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February 24, 2007 - Posted by | bad jobs, cool hand luke deleted scene, eggs, etiquette, nuts, overheard, san francisco, sex, Work

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