The Bad Guy

Valentine’s Day

At my job we are all about promoting something resembling safety. One of the safety issues that the “family services” people promote is safe sex. This is something that should be promoted and I have no problem with this. I think it is awesome that they put large buckets of free condoms and lube for the residents right in the lobby for all to take. It promotes safe sex, some degree of responsibility and should be commended. Now that you have the set up, allow me to begin the story.

It was two years ago on Valentine’s Day and I was at the front desk watching TV and trying to not hate my life. At 7:00 pm a short sweaty, greasy guy (highly tweaked) entered the building. I asked him “Can I help you?” But he ignored me and made a B-line to the condom and lube bucket. The man was shaking and the sweat was dripping off him as he grabbed great handfuls of prophylactics and lubricant and filled his pockets until overflowing.

I asked him again “Sir? Over here, sir.” Still no response and the man filled his back pockets and shirt pockets and jacket pockets full to overflowing. Now I wasn’t too annoyed that he had taken HALF of the bucket, we had giant box behind the desk to replenish the supply. But I was getting a little worried about the guy. He was breathing heavy, twitching and the sweat dripping off him was making an actual puddle on the floor.

I asked one more time “Hey, guy! If you’re not here to visit someone I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

The man spun around, the sweat flying from his brow, the droplets landing just short of my location. “Oh, uh…Is Jesse home?”

“No, I’m afraid he is out.”

Crestfallen, the tweaked out man pleaded “Are..Are you sure?”


“Aw, man!” The guy turned around and started to walk out, “Can I keep the rubbers?”


“Thank you, man. You ROCK! Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“You, too. Stay safe.”

And that is where the story mercifully ended.


February 14, 2007 - Posted by | bad jobs, condoms, drugs are bad, etiquette, meth, relationships, san francisco, tweakers, Work

1 Comment »

  1. How very odd. Makes me wonder about things I’m better off not knowing

    Comment by cat | February 15, 2007 | Reply

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