The Bad Guy

Is John McLaughlin getting another divorce?

I pose this question after having watched this weekend’s “McLaughlin: One-On-One.” In this episode he talks to divorce lawyer Mark Barondess and the author of “Pornified,” Pamela Paul.

-Highlights-

-Mark Barondess makes some very wise statements about “immature marriages.” Meaning that most couples rush into marriages based on passion and not pragmatism. How do we solve this? Good advice that the passionate will never follow and the pragmatist will not need because he or she already knows this stuff already. For example, on cheating Mr. Barondess says that he would advise anyone thinking of doing it the same thing he would tell someone thinking of trying heroin: don’t. Right on. Let me tell you, as a person who used to do some drugs myself (and cheat on some girlfriends… and if any of them are reading this, it wasn’t you, honest) that advice is only good for the person who has the wisdom of experience. Mr. Barondess, tell ME about your tales of infidelity, because I now know you have them.

-Also, on the infidelity tip, John McLaughlin is surprised and (if I read his facial expressions correctly, I believe he looked downright scared) to find out [pretend McLaughlin is saying this]…That a woman…ALWAYS…knows! No shit, she always knows (and if you are an ex of mine reading this: Ok, I did, it was stupid of me, disrespectful to you and I’m sorry)! And John, I have no urge to hear about your tales of whatever it is you do on the side. No offense. I’d love to talk with you about politics, religion, old movies, whatever it is the kids are into, and so many other things. But I DO NOT want to hear about your affairs. Thanks for not sharing.

-Pamela Paul believes that porn is destroying marriages. She was the second guest on the program and phoned her part in from wherever. Anyway, she wrote a book called “Pornified” that I really could care less about. But in her defense, allow me to give some advice that could help some porn frenzied men: If you want your wife or S/O to do all those things you see on the DVD’s and the Internet, you gotta set the mood. If you can’t do that or don’t know how, you’ll figure it all out after that special woman in your life is gone. Oh you want some REAL advice? Don’t shoot it in her hair or her eyes, shower every day, don’t call her a whore unless she asks you to, don’t bug her to get implants, no donkey punches, surprise anal invasions and if she gags she’s not into it. Oh, and she was faking it…Every time. Sorry, slugger.

-Mark Barondess is married to John’s make up person. So I guess we know how this interview got set up…And that no one else was available. I also now know why Mr. Barondess never delved into his own personal tales of, what Eddie Murphy once called “Runnin’ down the street, buck naked, with a rock-hard dick talking about ‘I’m sorry.'”

Fun for the whole family…as always.

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February 7, 2007 - Posted by | advice, divorce, family, john mclaughlin, mark barondess, News and politics, pamela paul, porn, pornified, relationships, what were you thinking?

1 Comment »

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