The Bad Guy

I’m not good at office small talk.

So I arrive at work and I’m talking to my co-worker and he asks me “You gonna watch any football this weekend?”

Me: “Nah, I’m not that into football.”

Him: “You don’t like football?”

Me: “Not really.”

Him: “You don’t like football? Why not?”

Me: “I’m just not that into watching dudes in tight pants and shoulder pads grab balls.”

Him: “It aint like that. They tackle each other, too.”

Me: “That’s better? If you like it, that’s great. But me? I’m just not into watching dudes in tight pants and shoulder pads trying to wrestle other dudes in tight pants and shoulder pads to the ground, either.”

Him: “When you put it like that…”

Me: “Hey, there’s no shame in admitting that you enjoy watching dudes in tight pants and shoulder pads grab balls and wrestle each other to the ground and then pat each other on the buttocks…It’s not MY thing, but to each their own. Live, and let live.”

Him: “Well millions of Americans DO enjoy watching that and I’m one of them.”

Me: “So you’d be OK with proclaiming your love for watching dudes grab balls and wrestle other dudes to the ground?”

Him: “I aint gonna say that.”

Me: “But you do like football?”

Him: “Yeah?”

Me: “And football involves those activities, right?”

Him: “Yeah, but…”

Me: “It’s OK. Just between the two of us, you can tell me. I won’t judge you because you like to watch dudes chase balls and grab each other in tight pants. I’m not like that.”

Him: “I’m…going home.”

Me: “Enjoy the game.”

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January 27, 2007 - Posted by | football, sports, TV, Work

1 Comment »

  1. […] to euphemistically describe a reason for why I left my present job. The next day, I got to work and Josh told me that our boss got fired at […]

    Pingback by Sometimes you just get lucky. « The Bad Guy | March 23, 2007 | Reply


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