The Bad Guy

Memo

To: Department of Homeland Security

From: The Bad Guy

Re: Guerrilla Marketing

I admire that you will take all threats as 100% serious and act accordingly. But I must now warn you about the threats you have apprehended. Do not give in to the public consensus that these are harmless pranksters. Your initial instincts were correct, these are dire threats to the security of the USA and the Earth.

This is Ignignokt:

Standing 3′ tall, is the brains of the operation.

This is is Err:

Much shorter, but no less dangerous.

These two are Mooninite supremacists from the Moon who have entered this country illegally on at least 6 occasions to commit acts of petty theft, breaking and entering, grand larceny, arson, vandalism, eco-terrorism, fraud, racketeering and drug running.

If you still have the two in custody it is imperative that you keep them separated. If cornered they can join as one to form their ultimate weapons, The “Quad Laser,” and the much larger (and more deadly) “Quad Glacier” [sic].

The two are terrorist masterminds at the head of a terror network named “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday” with cells all over the world.

DO NOT LET THESE INVADERS GO. THEY ARE HERE TO FURTHER THEIR OWN PERSONAL AGENDA OF MOON DOMINATION OVER EARTH.

<-the Quad Laser

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January 31, 2007 Posted by | Adult Swim, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Boston, err, geekery, Homeland Security, ignignokt, mooninites, movies, News and politics, space programs, TV | 4 Comments

Oh, and here’s that clip of Chuck Norris and Timz.

See, no kicks to the face, no harsh words, just a civil disagreement:

January 30, 2007 Posted by | chuck norris, colmes, FOX NEWS, hannity, Iraq, News and politics, relationships, Timz, TV | Leave a comment

Happy Monday To All!

It’s my day off, I’m going to get some food, enjoy the picture:

January 29, 2007 Posted by | big bird, Mr. Rogers, sesame st, TV | Leave a comment

I’m not good at office small talk.

So I arrive at work and I’m talking to my co-worker and he asks me “You gonna watch any football this weekend?”

Me: “Nah, I’m not that into football.”

Him: “You don’t like football?”

Me: “Not really.”

Him: “You don’t like football? Why not?”

Me: “I’m just not that into watching dudes in tight pants and shoulder pads grab balls.”

Him: “It aint like that. They tackle each other, too.”

Me: “That’s better? If you like it, that’s great. But me? I’m just not into watching dudes in tight pants and shoulder pads trying to wrestle other dudes in tight pants and shoulder pads to the ground, either.”

Him: “When you put it like that…”

Me: “Hey, there’s no shame in admitting that you enjoy watching dudes in tight pants and shoulder pads grab balls and wrestle each other to the ground and then pat each other on the buttocks…It’s not MY thing, but to each their own. Live, and let live.”

Him: “Well millions of Americans DO enjoy watching that and I’m one of them.”

Me: “So you’d be OK with proclaiming your love for watching dudes grab balls and wrestle other dudes to the ground?”

Him: “I aint gonna say that.”

Me: “But you do like football?”

Him: “Yeah?”

Me: “And football involves those activities, right?”

Him: “Yeah, but…”

Me: “It’s OK. Just between the two of us, you can tell me. I won’t judge you because you like to watch dudes chase balls and grab each other in tight pants. I’m not like that.”

Him: “I’m…going home.”

Me: “Enjoy the game.”

January 27, 2007 Posted by | football, sports, TV, Work | 1 Comment

Overheard on the bus.

young lady #1: Ewww! I hate the smell of puffy parkas when it rains.

young lady #2: I KNOW!

young lady #1 & #2: EEEEWWWWWWW!!!

young lady #2: It smells like-

young lady #1: Wet dog.

young lady #2: Yeah!

young lady #1: Wet puppies don’t smell bad.

young lady #2: I want a puppy!

young lady #1: Me, toooo!!!

young lady #1 & #2: AAAAWWWWW!!!

I exit the bus…and smash my head against the nearest brick wall.

Also, by “young” I mean early 20’s.

January 26, 2007 Posted by | MUNI, overheard, public transportation, Work | 1 Comment

Walker Texas Ranger & Colmes

Tonight! For one night only…Chuck Norris is filling in for Sean Hannity! Yes, the man, the myth the legend: Chuck Norris…I guess everyone else was busy.

Highlights:

-On the subject of the docudrama “the Path To 911,” the star of “Delta Force I & II” and “Missing In Action I – III” tells the country that he “hates it when movies are used to further political agendas.”

-On dealing with the Muslim community he is shockingly moderate. I’m unhappy to report that Chuck is not the attack dog that Hannity is. I mean, this is the first time I’ve ever seen Colmes exude anything resembling “charisma.”

-Timz, the Iraqi rap artist has a very civil disagreement with Chuck Norris (Chuck even concedes that Timz has a point about the failure of the U.S. war strategy and lets the artist’s claims of civility in Hussein’s Iraq slide). As much as I have a distaste for Hannity, I expect his stand-in to at least play his part. I do not watch Hannity and Colmes for civil debates and exchange of ideas. I watch it because Sean Hannity is an arrogant, obtuse, self-righteous blowhard. When I want to be informed I watch C-SPAN. But right now I want to be amused and Mr. Norris’ civility is cockblocking that. But on the other hand, I feel comforted that Chuck Norris is not that kind of guy.

-Oh, wait, he’s for Newt Gingrich…Never mind.

Also: Dennis Miller’s “Free Speech.” His rants are not funny and the graphics aren’t helping. Sorry, Dennis. I have been big fan of his for years but his new material is falling flatter than the morbidly obese man who jumped from a Maxim Hotel Casino window back in 1999…And that last joke.

January 26, 2007 Posted by | Blogroll, chuck norris, colmes, Dennis Miller, FOX NEWS, hannity, Iraq, News and politics, TV | 1 Comment

Obviously Star Trek is more popular in China than I thought

Not like this is breaking news but I just found this amusing. This is the seal of the Chinese space program:

And for comparison, the Starfleet insignia:

I have no big point to make here. I just wanted to share.

January 24, 2007 Posted by | geekery, movies, News and politics, space programs, star trek, TV, Uncategorized | 19 Comments

…And David Icke Soils Himself.

This is the article and here is the context.

January 24, 2007 Posted by | conspiracy, News and politics, reptilians, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

John Gibson concurs with Drudge…I do a happy dance.

Just watched John Gibson on FOX NEWS talk about how Sundance is anti-Bush, pro child rape, and pro bestiality (exact words “sex with a horse!”). Ah, the depths the left will go to. I’d like state for the record that I called it!

And don’t say I didn’t warn you when Playboy Bunny costumes start becoming evidence that the left wants to sexualize animals.

January 23, 2007 Posted by | big bird, BUNNIES!!!, News and politics, relationships, with horses | 2 Comments

As the Iraqis get it up, we will stand down.

Your tax dollars at work.

January 22, 2007 Posted by | Iraq, movies, News and politics, relationships, TV, Uncategorized, Work | Leave a comment