The Bad Guy

Worst Christmas Story EVER TOLD!

The following story is made more horrible by virtue of it being 100% true.

Two years ago I was at my job on Christmas day and one of the visitors asks a simple enough question:

“How do people like you celebrate Christmas?”

I thought about it for a moment “Since I’m here, I guess I’m not celebrating Christmas.”

“Naw, naw…If you weren’t here, how would you be celebrating Christmas?”

Because I’m the kind of guy who will say the EXACT wrong thing when given the opportunity I counter with “I don’t. I celebrate Hanukkah.”

The man in front of me wrinkled up his face in awkward disgust,

“HANUKKAH?!?! But you’re not BLACK!”

The man’s wife (who was patiently waiting behind him) then smacked him hard on the back of the head while rolling her eyes.

“He’s saying he’s Jewish, you ignorant bitch. Jews celebrate Hanukkah, you’re thinking of Kwanzaa. I am never taking you to visit my moms ever again.”

“Hanukkah, Kwanzaa…What’s the difference?”

I answer him, “One candle.”



December 24, 2006 - Posted by | bad jobs, Christmas, san francisco, Work


  1. I love this story! Thanks for getting it down! Another for the book!

    Comment by zilledefeu | December 24, 2006 | Reply

  2. great story well told

    Comment by maureen oboyle | March 14, 2007 | Reply

  3. Oooh the foolishness and a great story. Thank you for the giggle.

    Comment by Hath | May 29, 2007 | Reply

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