The Bad Guy

the Wizard Of Id / B.C. live-action feature

So I got a call from a friend of mine in LA the other day. He starts telling me about his job at FOX studios and how he is absolutely LIVID about this one project in development…The Wizard Of Id/B.C. live action feature.

That’s right. I said the The Wizard Of Id/B.C. live action feature. It was just about the only thing that could have changed the course of the conversation from “why can’t you get me a job like yours so I can understand your pain,” to “WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK?!”

“I truly hope you’re fucking with me.” I pleaded knowing full well that he wasn’t.

“Oh it’s very real,” he answered. “And VERY close to being green-lit.”

So my friend goes on to tell me the entire plot of The Wizard Of Id/B.C. movie. A story I shall capsulize for you here.

We begin with the Wizard requesting an audience with the King to bring news of a new and powerful time travel spell. The technique involves the use of two powders. One to send a person forward in time and the other to travel back. From what I understand something goes wrong and the King and the Wizard are sent WAY back in time to the Stone Age. The duo are trapped and must work as a team to find all the ingredients to make the time travel powder.

As they wander the the land before time (but not Jesus, if you take you take Johnny Hart’s word for it) the Wizard and the King not only survive, they thrive. Their knowledge of basic technology make them gods to the cavemen. They take the primitive wheel and make carts, bring fire, bows and arrows and unite the cavemen to aid in their quest.

Months pass and the time spell can be cast again by the Wizard. Both he and the King travel back to Id only to find what has gone on in their absence. Sir Rodney has taken power, peace has been made with the Huns, the land is prosperous and the peasants are happy. The King will not have any of this. He takes his only ally, the Wizard, and travels back in time once again. Back in the land of B.C. he raises a caveman army and takes them forward through time to retake his kingdom.   The movie ends with the King back in power with seemingly no damage to the fabric of time.

Are you traumatized?   I was.  Though I was not surprised by the proposed plot, I was surprised that Parker & Hart would give it their blessing (who knows, maybe they haven’t yet) .   The whole project is wrong on many levels.  It’s wrong because it’s based on a C-list comic strip, it’s wrong because the story is twisted and retarded, and…Christ I just give up.   Thanks Hollywood.  Thanks a bunch.

BTW – After my “friend” wore me down with that drek he dropped a worse bombshell. “…And that’s nothing compared to the Beetle Bailey movie were working on!”

No, this is far from over.

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December 9, 2006 - Posted by | comic strips, movies, Uncategorized

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