The Bad Guy

Raymond, pt3 (or, “Thank You Rumsfeld!”)

So I showed up for work for work and I met my new boss. Instead of a hearty handshake and a hello I got asked into her office. The door closed, I sat down and I was blindsided by accusations from a stranger.

“Why do you xerox incident reports? And why did you use inappropriate language to residents?”

I do endorse obfuscation regularly, but I do know when I’m being ambushed unfairly. For a few moments, time froze for me. What should I do in this situation? What exactly was this lady talking about?

It was then that my years of watching C-SPAN paid off. I had a clear memory of the Iran-Contra hearings, Clinton’s “is” testimony, and (more recently) of any Bush administration official…I had a plan.

“Could you be more specific?”

“You xeroxed company papers for your own use and took them home.”

“What papers?”

“Incident reports.”

“Which ones?”

“You tell me.”

“How am I supposed to confirm or deny if you can’t give me specific instances?”

“I expect you to be honest with me.”

“And I expect to to be given dates, times and actual evidence. All I’m asking is for you to help ME help YOU.”

“You want me to be specific? How about last Sunday when you used foul language to a resident?”

“What time?”

“It was 6:30, according to your incident report.”

“Ahhh! I do remember that incident. What of it?”

“You used foul language.”

“What did I say?”

“You know what you said.”

“I can not recall. Could you remind me? Perhaps if you tell me what I supposedly said, I could confirm or deny.”


“Define ‘foul’ language.”

“Don’t get smart with me, I’ll fire you right now!”

“What for? You haven’t told me anything specific. Look, Mrs. Mitchell I welcome an open and honest debate of my work performance, but that can’t happen unless you dispense with these abstract attacks and provide some concrete evidence.”

[Nora is at the point of explosion at this point]

“Just sign this and leave.”

“What is this?”

“It just says that we had this talk.”

“It seems to say that I agree with everything you accused me of. I’m not signing it.”

“You have to!”

“No…I do not.”

With that, I got up and left Nora’s office. Thirty minutes later she brought another document to sign saying that I refused to signed the first document. I refused and she stomped off.

Thank you C-SPAN!!!


September 29, 2006 - Posted by | Work

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