Rudy Ray Moore passed away yesterday, and I am a bit sad about this.  Not just because he was a great force in independent film, a comedy innovator or even an accomplished singer.  No, I’m upset for personal reasons.

Back in 1991 I managed to get an interview with Mr. Moore for my college radio show. His manager gave me his home phone number, and we chatted for over an hour about all his movies and his plans for the future.  Among these plans were numerous tours, a new Dolemite movie and some new records.  During the whole time I was a nervous fan doing my best to keep up with him, but he did an amazing job not ridiculing my amateurish demeanor and anxiousness.  He was all class.

Less than a year later I was going through a difficult time.  A woman I was into had just dumped me and none of my friends came even close to giving a damn and brushed me off.  At the end of my rope I found Rudy Ray Moore’s phone number and called him up for advice.

Yeah, that’s right.  I turned to the Dolemite in my time of crisis and isolation.  And guess what?  He answered his phone and he actually talked to me.  He listened to my problems, he let me vent, got me to laugh a little and made me feel, in general, better.

And that is what I’ll miss about the man.  He gave a damn about the people around him.  The fact that he would take a call from a stranger and help him out says volumes about him.  And I’ll be honest, I was not in the best state of mind that day.  He had every right to to tell me to fuck off, but he did not.  He was a man who realized that every fan is important, and every human being deserves respect.  That is why he will always be a great man in my book, and that is why he will be missed.

Ask anyone who’s known me longer than an hour and they’ll all tell you the same thing:

“The Bad Guy loves him some breastesses!”

I can not deny this fact, nor would I ever want to. They are awesome creations that I could go on for hours about…But for the sake of my own dignity I will not. Instead I offer my readers the CREEPIEST video I have seen in a long time:

Update! – It’s posts like this that remind me of why I should never blog while tipsy.

This clip needs no introduction, but it’s getting one ayway.  Nathan Fillion (Serenity, Waitress, Slither) and Aria Giovanni (Alabama Jones & the Busty Crusade, Thirteen Erotic Ghosts) star in this soon to be classic titled “Nailing Your Wife.”

No, I can’t embed the video here. You’ll just have to click on the link below.

Yeah, this clip is from last week, but YouTube wouldn’t acknowledge that I had uploaded it for a couple of days.  Now, without further delay, one of the most awesome non-Gerlado clips from the Ike coverage.

Now that I own a home I have to deal with all the wonderful things that go along with that.  Taxes, condo fees, dealing with all repairs myself, and insurance.  And guess what company insures my place?  If you said AIG you’d be correct.  Anyway, being a little on edge about the state of the company that’s supposed to help me out should my house burn down or whatever, I inquired about things.  This is the response that I got.  OK, this, most likely, is the response all of AIG’s customers got today:

To Our Capital Region Broker Partners:

Please see the attached PDF to assist in your conversations with clients.  Despite all of the negative press regarding our parent company, I cannot emphasize enough that AIG Private Client Group is one of many AIG Property & Casualty insurance businesses that are all rated individually, continue to be well capitalized and are performing well.  Our entire management team is available to address any specific questions you may have and as more information becomes available I will get it in your hands ASAP.  Thank you for your continued support during this unprecedented time in our company’s history.

Best,

J.C.

You see, my favorite part of this is where “JC” refers to what is happening as “negative press.”  As if the whole issue was made up by the media in an attempt to create scandal.  You know, that would be the case if the head of AIG’s genitals were photographed by the papparazzi and sent to TMZ.  That’s scandal.   THIS is a full-blown fuck-up that goes beyond a simple “oops.”

…He always gets his man.  And he’ll zap you anyway he can.”

Sure, you’ll get a giggle out of this, but there’s more to this video than meets the eye.  This is a Christian band playing Christian ska in the 80’s, dressed like the warm-up act for the Partridge family or Lawrence Welk Show regulars.  Make no mistake, SONSEED were originals, VERY brave, and I tip my hat to them.

Sure, there’s the issue of some unfortunate lyrical choices, but I’m not going to quibble with that.  What is important is that they dressed how they wanted and played the music they wanted to.  Hell, look at the guitar player, he looks like he’s enjoying himself!  Good for him.  And as far as reverse-engineering a musical genre to fit your religious beliefs, SONSEED kick Stryper’s sorry buttocks from here to the end of days.

Until today I knew NOTHING about this New York comedian.  As of now, I am one of her biggest fans.  Sara, you are awesome.  If our paths ever do cross, I owe you dinner.

And if you are someone who is confused about the message of my previous post conflicting with posting this, I’ll clear things up:  These videos are ball-bouncingly funny.

OK, OK.  I need to explain myself.  I have nothing against Sarah Palin or her family.  Bristol Palin might have made a mistake, but I know so many other folks (and myself) who made impulsive, wrong-headed decisions in their youth and it’s wrong to take pot-shots at a young lady in crisis.

So what?  Bristol Palin is with child.  The important thing is that her family is sticking together and showing their love by supporting her in this difficult time.  This is how it should be.  A family being so strong and accepting is a beautiful thing, an example to show the rest of the country.  To the Palin Family, I wish for you nothing but blessings.

But what about the young gentleman purported to be the father of Bristol’s unborn child?

Let’s go to town!

Oh, he’s fair game…Up to a point.  He’s 18, so that makes him of legal age to make, and be accountable for, any stupid decisions made.  But he’s still young enough that he’s got the right to be dumb as hell if he so chooses without me being a dick about it.

He has the God-given right to declare himself a “f—in’ redneck,” if his spirit moves him so.  Please, go forth and shout it from the highest mountain if you need to.  And it goes without saying that the previous statement makes it only natural to proclaim that “I’ll kick ass” afterwords should anyone cross him.  Young Mr. Johnston, no truer words have ever been uttered by a “f—in’ redneck.”  This world is your oyster…Live it up all you can, for as long as you can.  But do so quickly, because your baby’s momma’s, momma will sick the Alaska National Guard on you should you fail to arrive at the church on time for that wedding we’ve all been hearing about.

But what’s that?  What did you say? “I don’t want kids?”  Too bad, you got one showing up in less than 4 months.  Plenty of time to make that “brave choice” and enlist.  I hear you can still “kick ass” in Iraq with impunity.

But to be fair, I don’t even know this guy.  Maybe he’ll grow up into a wonderful husband and father.  I have no idea.  I sure hope he does.

Also, cheers to Sarah Palin for not letting Levi weasel out of paying for that “fishing out of season” fine that he got last year.

This entry was inspired by this article.  A piece so wonderfully written I at times had to make sure I wasn’t reading the Onion.

Dr James Dobson’s reaction to the Palin as McCain’s VP choice.